How becoming a mum helped be feel confident and proud of my body
I’m probably not alone in this but growing up I never had much faith in my body and I certainly didn’t like it very much. My teenage years were shadowed by horrendous cystic acne, that made me massively self conscious. Regular hospital trips discussed how amongst other things my hormones ‘didn’t work’ like they should.
Like many young girls I felt fatter than everyone else, I questioned why other girls seemed to eat what they want but stayed slim. Maybe I had a slow metabolism I’d think (Probably more likely to be to do with all the crisps and booze!) I’d question my body, my bum was bigger than it should be, my boobs too pointy, even my hair was too thin…
At 27 I was pregnant with my first baby and I was petrified something would go wrong. After over analysing my cycles and doing far too much Googling, I’d convinced myself that my hormones were imbalanced. Yes, I know I’m a loon! As a result I worried myself sick that I was more likely to miscarry. I’m pleased to say I was wrong.
Despite all this fear, I loved pregnant me. I liked my body being pregnant. I felt liberated that for once I wasn’t following one of my fad diets and actually what I weighed didn’t matter at all. My tummy was round and I happily paraded it in tight fitted tops. But I was petrified of birth. I had every ‘what if’ engrained on my mind. How could I trust the body that I’d spent the last 15 years criticising and finding fault with.
But then fate helped me find Hypnobirthing and I became amazed of how Mother nature had birth down to a tea! The way your endorphins rise as your surges pick up pace, how time is distorted, the way our pelvis becomes more roomy as baby enters the world, the power of your instincts, the list goes on! I watched empowering births and was in awe of the women in the videos. I learnt to trust my body. I was confident. My body could do this and it could be amazing!
AND IT WAS! It was everything I wanted it to be and afterwards I was literally high as a kite. Lots of it was because of the 7lb 6oz human looking up at me with wide-open eyes. But lots of it was because I truly believed my body and the female body was fantastic!
I’d done it, I’d birthed my baby and I was totally in awe of my body! AMAZED by its power to grow such a perfect human! AMAZED by the process of birth, the power, the love!
This one moment transformed my feelings towards my body. Why had I spent so many years finding fault with it, focusing on it flaws when actually it is pretty awesome?
Now as a mum I feel more comfortable in my skin than I ever have. The marks on my body from the incredible process of pregnancy and birth are permanent. They are reminders that my body is bloody well amazing. I wear my stripes with pride!
And this is why I’m so passionate about supporting women to have positive births because it can bring us things we never knew it could! Being able to look back on our pregnancy and birth with pride and joy, however it happened and whatever decisions our instincts guided us to make, means so much on every level.
It is such a strong reminder of how awesome our bodies are and how wonderful it is to be a woman!
