Me and my Fourth Pregnancy
When I became pregnant with baby number 4 it did cross my mind how fab it would be to have lots of pregnant stuff to reflect on in my blog. Yet, almost 23 weeks in I haven’t written one single blog post about it! So sitting here as my toddler sleeps feels a good time to reflect on my first half of pregnancy before the kids finish school for Christmas.
I’ve found this pregnancy tough! My first three were pretty much a walk in the park. I was one of those smug pregnants with little more than the odd day of nausea. This time I started with all day nausea from 6 weeks right up until about 19 weeks. It felt so long that I forgot what it felt like to be ‘normal’, I even questioned if I had some unpregnancy related deadly disease that was making me feel so rubbish. It really got me down and those weeks at the time felt like years. Yep, I tried everything ginger, peppermint tea, getting more rest etc but nothing eased it.
I also felt very anxious about miscarriage this time around. At six weeks I experienced bleeding, which freaked me out. The lovely Early Pregnancy department at Pinderfields were wonderful and a scan showed a tiny dot with a heartbeat that provided some reassurance. However, I was totally on knicker watch for the weeks that followed.
I found Baby loss awareness month particularly triggering. I really understand the importance of such a week but I’ve got to admit I found seeing the posts made me constantly worry I was going to experience this. My newsfeed as a Hypnobirthing teacher is full of other Hypnobirthing and pregnancy pages so you can imagine how many posts I saw.
I’m now so happy to be out of that phase and finally enjoying being pregnant again. I feel baby moving lots and I have a bump. I love this bit!
I feel very aware that after a very busy few months with lots of exciting things going on business wise, I’ve probably neglected my own self-care and birth preparation. I had visions of this pregnancy (my last one) being full of pregnancy yoga, listening to Hypnobirthing MP3s and lots of pampering and that has NOT happened. Instead I’ve worked harder than I’ve ever worked and me and the pregnancy have remained at the bottom of the list.
I know exactly what I’d say to a client who found themselves in this position. But sometimes, even us Hypnobirthing teachers don’t practice what we preach!
My commitment to myself and my growing baby is that once Christmas is over, I’m going to something each week for me and my pregnancy. I reckon pregnancy yoga will be something to enjoy, I certainly did in my other pregnancies. I’m going to find some Hypnobirthing MP3s that I really like and get into my habbit of daily listening. I know the power of this so very well! Finding some that I love is a task in itself though, it would be weird to listen to my own, right?!
I’m also going to have a Hypnobirthing refresher session with a very lovely Hypnobirthing instructor, Amanda. I know it might sound weird a Hypnobirthing teacher having a Hypnobirthing session. But seriously I know this will be so important for Adam and I. This will be a few hours away from our busy lives to focus on the upcoming birth and baby 4. It will remind him of all the tools and it will give us a kick up the bum to make practising a priority. And do you know what, even stuff I already know, I like hearing. Somehow it feels very different coming from someone else.
So that’s where I am, about to step into Christmas madness but with a commitment to myself, our baby and our birth.
What commitments are you making for yourself, your baby and your birth?